How to Win Friends and… Nope just Win Friends

Upon opening the Betsy Blog, you’d better believe I laughed (hard and out loud) when I realized my last post was November 15th. Here’s where I insert something generic about good intentions, blah blah blah.

But really?

I’ve been busy.

Yup. I said it. I. Have. Been. Busy.

With real life friends. Outside of the house.

Incredible right?

Not too long ago, I had a dear friend call me out. Hard. It was one of those best friend smack downs that only they can somehow make sound loving, but you know when receiving them that they are 100% correct… and they are telling you because they care enough about you to actually say something.

God bless best friends.

Anywho, while whining about this and that, she just simply told me to fix it. If having free time was killing me, she asked what I was doing to work to fill that time and I just sat silently staring. “Um… nothing.” “Then stop complaining” she says. Bam. Best friend smack down.

And guess what? She was right. I can’t complain about something that I’m not actively trying to fix (which, could be applied to SO many situations amiright?). So what was I going to do to about?

Answer: Put myself out there. Making friends as an adult is awkward. It’s like dating. Only it’s friend dating. And that’s WAY more difficult. Cause those girls really do notice what you’re wearing, you really do need to be prepared for conversation and then there’s that moment where you have to decide, do I ask to set a follow up friend outing or are you going to get dismissed right away? Friend dating = so much potential… to be uncomfortable. (If this paragraph made you say YES! then boy oh boy do I have the book for you here, seriously, go read it.)

So that’s quite honestly what I’ve been doing. Finding things in the town that I’m living in that I enjoy doing and connecting to people while doing those things. Which, has involved having to leave my sweatpants and flannel tops at home and leave the house. Sometimes, I even add a full face of makeup. I know, wild right? This stuff isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s real effort to walk into some random mingle/networking (good Lord I hate that word) event. But, so far, putting in a little effort has made things so much more awesome.

Case in point: Today I had an amazing lunch. With an amazing lady. We chatted. We laughed. We ate good food (thank you baby Jesus for grown up grilled cheese and tomato soup) and we just had an all around good time talking about whatever was on our mind. It didn’t feel like an uncomfortable first friend date. It felt like I was sitting down with a good friend. And that brought my heart joy and happiness. And makes putting yourself out there and asking someone to have lunch with you totally worthwhile.

Granted: I still maintain that organizing things, keeping a decently clean (errrrr um, mildly clean) house, learning to spend time by yourself, making the meal that you’re eating every once and awhile… those are important. But I think I’m reaching a much better equilibrium… because I thrive being connected. I’m better when I’m busy. And taking in all of the adventures that your town has in store for you… that’s crazy important too.

So on my night off tonight, I’m going clean. I’m going to do laundry (which, for the record, I STILL hate), I’m going to finish wrapping Christmas gifts, I’ll answer some emails that need tending to and I’ll write out another blog post or two (seriously, wait until you hear the squash disaster of 2013). But know, I so encourage you to do the thing that you’ve been putting off. Put yourself out there.

It’s just so stinking great.

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